Joanne Peh and Qi Yuwu have just come out of hair and make-up and the studio is bustling with activity to prep for the photography session ahead. There’s a sense of anticipation in the air, with everyone having been told that the couple’s nine-year-old daughter and seven-year-old son will be joining us later in the afternoon for the family’s first-ever media shoot together. The parameters have also been clearly set: No photos of the children are to be taken and posted on social media at any time of the day. As for the shoot proper, their faces are to be partially obscured in every shot to maintain the anonymity that their parents have so fiercely protected for them all their lives.

Which begs the question of why Joanne and Yuwu have agreed to let a magazine photograph them with their children— and for a cover story, no less. After all, the celebrity couple’s need for privacy when it comes to their family is so well known that it’s public fact: Even on their own personal social media platforms, the children have their backs to the camera and their faces are never shown in their entirety; their names secreted away like in the fairytales of old, replaced with affectionate nicknames like Baby Qi (or, more recently, Mimi) and Qi Didi. 

I’d very much like to claim credit for having convinced them to go ahead with today. To say that my words of assurance and promises to fully respect the family’s boundaries led them to trust ELLE Singapore with documenting this very special family- first occasion. But as I soon discovered during our surprisingly candid hour-and-a-half-hour interview, that is not at all the case. Their decision has less to do with my trustworthiness and salesmanship than the fact that Joanne and Yuwu—who are celebrating their 10th anniversary next month—have simply reached a stage in their relationship where they’re comfortable revealing certain private aspects of their lives.

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“I think the reason why we agreed to do this is because we wanted a remembrance, a keepsake of our 10th anniversary,” says Joanne. “It’s a milestone for our family,” continues Yuwu. “Although it means having to show our children ‘publicly’ for the first time, I think this will be a meaningful memory for our kids. They have always seen us in magazines and on TV but now they get to be a part of it.” “Yes, I’m very happy that we were able to make this happen,” Joanne adds.

And that’s just how the rest of the interview continues, with Joanne and Yuwu finishing off each other’s sentences and teasing each other with good-natured quips. They’re the very picture of happy coupledom, exuding contentment that would leave many envious. Seeing how naturally in sync they are mentally and physically (she brushes off errant crumbs from his cheek; he adjusts a wayward lock of hair from her face), it’s hard to imagine how anyone could have raised a fuss or objected to the news of their relationship all those years ago.

“The experience was not positive,” recalls Yuwu about the reaction to their dating. “At that stage, I had been working in Singapore for over 10 years and I had no relationships during that time. So some people thought that I was gay or whatever. She had also just come out of a relationship with another actor so a lot of people around us were asking if the relationship was real.”

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The other actor was, of course, Bobby Tonelli, with whom Joanne had a four-year relationship before their breakup in March 2013. One month later, Joanne and Yuwu announced that they were officially dating. Could the whole debacle have been better handled? Perhaps. A month is, after all, a very short time to go from one relationship to the next—even if Joanne had publicly stated that her previous relationship had been on a downward spiral for some time.

Then again, considering the fact that Joanne and Yuwu had known and worked closely together for over a decade by then, it doesn’t seem like such a rash decision. Yuwu was Joanne’s first onscreen boyfriend when they acted together in the 2002 TV drama series, Beautiful Connection. (You know what they say about firsts.) Over the course of the next decade, she would be paired with him for seven more drama series. As Joanne notes at one point of our conversation: “When I think about our journey, it’s like we were put in each other’s way again and again.” Is it any surprise then, that their onscreen chemistry would spill into real life?

“One of the things that we agreed on was that our lives shouldn’t be dictated by what everybody thinks,” says Joanne about that difficult period. “And as long as we were enjoying each other, and working towards building this relationship, then nothing else matters. Like he said, I think it showed us what people are really like, because they can act one way in front of you, and then start talking behind your back. Which is why I think we were very closed off at the beginning as well. We were very intentional in not giving interviews and not being featured together. We didn’t want the relationship to take attention away from our craft and our professionalism as actors but I was also very protective about the relationship. We were just two people falling in love and trying to figure it all out.”

As Yuwu shares, it wasn’t until they were filming the first season of police drama CLIF (2011) that he realised he saw Joanne as a woman and not just a colleague. For 10 years before that, he dedicated himself singlemindedly to his career, travelling between China and Singapore to make the best of the “window of opportunity” that was open to him. But as time went on, and he became more sure-footed in his career, he realised that he had a growing desire for something more. Still, he held back from pursuing anything until after Joanne had broken up with Tonelli because he didn’t want a complicated situation. “Love should be wonderful; it should be simple and clean.”

While Yuwu was sure of what he wanted, Joanne needed a lot more convincing. “I was afraid. I really admire him as an actor and feel he’s one of the few actors that gets you out of your comfort zone. So when he told me point-blank how he felt about me, I was fearful because we’ve got this beautiful chemistry going. What if it didn’t work out and it affected our relationship as friends and as colleagues?” So what convinced her to take the plunge? “He, lor. I’m the passive one. He was very confident and very reassuring, and I think I got swayed by that confidence.”

“Pretend to be confident,” quips Yuwu with a smile. A little over a year later, on Chinese Valentine’s Day, Yuwu flew to Malaysia where Joanne was filming, steeled his nerves, and proposed with a ring and a big bouquet of red roses. They were married in a small, intimate wedding a month later, with 40 of their closest family and friends in attendance—to the chagrin of their artiste managers and surprise of the media. “We didn’t want to have to deal with the attention and everything else that isn’t part of what this relationship, this wedding, should be about,” explains Joanne.

Despite all precautions taken to keep the wedding a secret, a photo of their solemnisation in the afternoon was leaked, and by dinner time, friends at the wedding were getting bombarded with phone calls from the media.

“We knew the kind of reaction our wedding would cause; we wanted to minimise that and have a normal wedding,” Yuwu says. “I wanted to keep our private lives a distance away from our work. And, this later also became our approach with the children. It’s consistent. We don’t mix our celebrity and private lives together.”

In this age of the Kardashians, where every tiny atom of one’s life is wrung dry for the sake of clout or fame, Joanne and Yuwu’s measures for their kids (the hidden faces and insistence on nicknames) may seem extreme. But unlike most people, Joanne and Yuwu have to contend with the fact that they are not normal parents, no matter how hard they wish to keep their private and public lives separate.

At one teacher-parent meeting, Mimi’s Primary Two form teacher commented on how humble, good and kind she was to her friends. It was then that it dawned on Joanne that her children would be subjected to a different set of expectations just because of who their parents were whether she liked it or not.

“It was all positive, but the word ‘humble’ ... it just hit me that there’s this preconceived notion that a child of a famous parent would probably be a brat and not be humble. So it’s almost like they have this extra pressure to behave well all the time,” she observes.

And that’s why the measures are in place—for very practical and loving reasons. “It’s so that they are able to still lead normal lives in a sense. And it’s also for security reasons. They’re still minors, and they’re not able to protect themselves. We just don’t want to attract the negative things that may come with that, you know?”

The parents’ hard work looks like it’s paying off. When Mimi and Qi Didi arrive at the studio, they strike me as well-adjusted, normal kids. They’re shy and quiet at first, but their decibel volume increases noticeably as soon as they’ve adjusted to their surroundings. Mimi tells me she’s been excited all day at school—and it shows in the way she takes instructions for the shoot, keeping her face hidden and smiling with her eyes as requested. Qi Didi is also practically a pro at the game, keeping absolutely still for the shot before springing back to life and bouncing off to his big sister for some play.

As Mimi and Qi Didi gravitate towards the trays of sparkling Tiffany & Co. jewellery that have been laid out on the table, picking out pieces for their parents to wear for the next shot, I ask the couple what they wish most for their children. “That they are resilient, have the strength to overcome whatever problems they face, and find joy in whatever they do.”

Having expressed the universal desires of every parent, Joanne and Yuwu may have just proved that they have finally attained the normalcy that they’ve sought for so long—or, at least in this one important aspect.

Photographed by JOEL LOW
Styled by JEFFREY YAN

Make-up Artist for Joanne: SHA SHAMSI using CHANEL BEAUTY
Hairstylist for Joanne: RYAN YAP/Passion Hair Salon
Make-up Artist for Yuwu: CHRIS SIOW
Hairstylist for Yuwu: BEN LEONG/Passion Hair Salon
Photographer’s Assistant: EDDIE TEO