Graceful, strong, and poised, Star Awards’ “All-Time Favourite Artiste” Rebecca Lim radiates the glow of a new mum (she gave birth to her son on 30 January 2024). I tell her she looks fantastic, but in typical Asian fashion, the 37-year-old replies with self-deprecating humbleness, “You haven’t seen me with my jacket off!”
Yet, for all that, Rebecca looks unequivocally like the A-list actress that she is as she works the camera like a pro, dressed in fall/winter’s selections such as Tod’s staple of luxury coordinates and loafers. She’s appreciative of days like this when she gets to relive her fast-paced, high-energy life as Mediacorp’s leading actress. It feels comfortable and familiar, compared with what she’s been through recently—a rapid-fire series of life-altering moments.
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In the past three years, Rebecca got engaged to the very dashing Matthew Webster—who is of English-Chinese heritage—just after a few months of courtship, tied the knot a year later, mourned the passing of her beloved father, and announced her pregnancy a few short months after. Just how is she coping with the tsunami of back-to-back events? "It’s been a rollercoaster. I think I’m coping much better these days, but it wasn’t always like that,” she says.
Rebecca acknowledges that the pandemic played a role in her more spontaneous approach to life and love. As the world slowed down, she felt the need to take risks and embrace the unexpected, especially in her personal life. “Covid-19 feels like a long time ago. I feel like a lot of people have forgotten what it was like. But it definitely altered something inside me. Maybe I got a little more daring, like heck, let’s try and see where this goes!” she reveals.
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The Rebecca I know from a decade ago was always very measured in her responses and guarded with her personal life. She shares why she’s been more open about publicising her whirlwind romance with Matthew, 37, who was “match-made” by her make-up artist and BFF Shaun Lee, who is godfather to their son. “I was definitely more calculated before, scared to do things out of the ordinary. But I think immense loss and immense gain have this common denominator. It has taught me to love a lot more boldly and fiercely. You don't want to regret the things you said or didn’t say, or things you did or didn’t do.”
She adds: “Past relationships help you understand what you want, and where you’re willing to compromise. By the time I reached that stage with Matthew, our communication was very open, and I had learned so much from previous experiences. Meeting him was a case of finding the right person at the right time, and when I knew he was the one, I couldn’t help but wonder: Are you going to propose?”
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THE REALITIES OF MOTHERHOOD
The most significant change, of course, has been motherhood. And Rebecca is refreshingly candid about her struggles to adjust. “I don’t believe I’m a natural mother,” she admits, sharing that the birth was difficult. “For the first month, I did not feel good at all. I was in pain, and I lost my sense of independence. I’ve always prided myself on doing everything myself, so it felt like a lot to give up.”
The emotional weight of motherhood also took its toll. Rebecca shares that the initial lack of a maternal bond made her question herself. "I had so much self-doubt. I didn’t have enough milk supply, and there’s so much mum guilt when you start feeding your baby formula. You just try to keep your baby alive and fed."
Her honesty about the complex emotions surrounding motherhood resonates with many new mothers, who often feel isolated by the expectation that they must seamlessly transition into their new role. Rebecca shares that support from her loved ones, especially her younger sister—who gave birth two weeks after her—helped her through the emotional highs and lows. She even shares that they time their nightly pumps so that they chat with each other while everyone is asleep.
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REDEFINING HER IDENTITY
Rebecca’s struggle to reconcile her identity as a mother with her professional life was profound. Known for her workaholic tendencies, she found herself in unfamiliar territory when she had to give up jobs during her unstable first trimester. "I’ve always been someone who says yes to work. Suddenly, I had to say no, and it felt like, why can’t I have it all? This was the longest period of my life where I did not work," she recalls.
Social media exacerbated her insecurities. “You see all these supermums who seem to have it all together and still look glam, and you expect to be like that. But it’s all lies. For the first two months, I only took photos of my son, none of me,” she shares candidly.
Even with her celebrity status, she is not immune to the critical gaze of the public. She recalls the pressure she felt at this year’s Star Awards just two months post-partum. Invited to present an award, she dressed in a stunning green Grecian-inspired gown. "I couldn't find anything that fit up until a few weeks before the event. There were also snide remarks about how I looked like a giant green apple. I felt so insecure and had a good cry about it the next day, but I had to remind myself I just gave birth and not be so hard on myself."
These days, Rebecca is an advocate for #nofilter motherhood realness. “No one wakes up looking like this. I want to get the message out there that it's really not easy, and it will take time to find yourself again.”
She emphasises: “My sense of self is much stronger now. Before, I placed a lot of pride in being a workaholic, and my identity was tied to my job. But when I became pregnant and couldn't work, I started questioning my value. If you take away my career, who am I, as Rebecca the person, not Rebecca the actor?
“Pregnancy allowed me that necessary quiet time to reintroduce myself to me. I used to feel inadequate, always wearing a mask. I could only feel confident after two hours of make-up. Now, after spending more time with myself, I’ve grown to like myself more, and my confidence has improved. Of course, there are bad days, but I definitely value myself more as a person.”
FASHION AND COMFORT
As a style icon, Rebecca has long been celebrated for her effortless glamour. Yet, her style sensibilities have shifted with motherhood. “People assume I’m this glam mum, but there’s so much effort that goes into looking this good,” she says with a laugh and quickly points to her trusted glam squad, Shaun and hairstylist, Dexter Ng.
And though her love for high fashion hasn’t diminished, her personal style now prioritises comfort, and she finds herself drawn to practical, chic designs for her everyday wardrobe. "I love playing with different personas when it comes to fashion," she says. "But my real style is much more laid-back. With all my work commitments, I’m hoping to show a more realistic version of myself as a mother, not just the glam façade.”
Today, Rebecca sees her career as entering a new chapter, one that is preparing her for an even greater stage in life. "Before becoming a mum, I could do a lot of things fast. Metaphorically speaking, I was just running this race on my own. But now, with my family pushing me forward, I feel like I can go even further," she reflects. “I'm not sprinting anymore. I'm running a marathon, and I'm not even halfway there yet.”
A NEW CHAPTER
When asked if she has her eye on any new roles, Rebecca is open to evolving her career beyond acting. "I might want to try something behind the scenes—writing, directing, or producing. Who knows? Society is becoming more supportive of mothers and work-life balance. I believe it’s going to get better.”
Most recently, she won Best Leading Female Performance at the Asian Television Awards for her role in the Channel 5 thriller Third Rail (2022). She is now filming the second season of Channel 8’s variety show With Love, Becks, where she brings on famous mummies like Fann Wong, Yvonne Lim, and even politician Tin Pei Ling to talk about matters of the heart and home.
She reflects on her journey, grateful for the people who have supported her. "I had to go through everything I did to get to where I am today. I’m not saying I’m great, but I’m content. I’m lucky to have people around me who’ve been there when I was nothing." She hopes to be remembered for the positive impact she makes, whether through her roles or interactions, concluding with a quote from American poet Maya Angelou: "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel."
Catch Rebecca in With Love, Becks on mewatch.
Photography JOEL LOW
Stylist JEFFREY YAN
Photographer’s Assistant EDDIE TEO
Make-up Artist SHAUN LEE
Hairstylist DEXTER NG
Manicurist REBECCA CHUANG / Fluttery Tips